As if their life wasn’t dramatic enough, now there are reports of a secret Lohan love child! According to OK! magazine, Michael Lohan has admitted to having an affair that resulted in a pregnancy back in ’82. Perez Hilton posted a quote from Michael on his blog:

“I met Christie in 1982 in Houston. In 1995, when I was separated from Dina, she contacted me that she was moving to Long Island. She was going through a divorce at the time. I was with her for a week. Years later, while I was in prison, she contacted to me to say she had a paternity test done that revealed the child’s father was not her husband. She said I was the only other man she had been with. My lawyers are dealing with this. When we find out the truth we will deal with it in the appropriate manner.”

JustJared had another snippet of a quote from Michael:

Years later [the woman] contacted me, convincing me that I was the only person she was with and that she had my child… [She] is beginning to look a lot like Linds, with a mix of [younger brother] Cody, believe it or not.”

The only quote provided by the mother is simply “It’s time for Michael to take responsibility.” Michael hasn’t quite done a bang up job with his current crop of kids, so perhaps this poor girl was better off without him there? Even so, the lack of financial support surely made life difficult. The saddest part of the whole story – aside from the kid who grew up without a dad – is that Lindsay apparently learned of the news straight from Perez Hilton’s blog. We’re glad she has Samantha Ronson to lean on during the most recent chapter of drama with the Lohans.

Last year, Paris had big plans once she was popped from prison. But since then, charity work doesn’t seem to have been her top priority – even though she told Larry King that she wanted “to help raise money for kids and for breast cancer and multiple sclerosis.” It might have taken her a few months, but Paris made good!

Children’s Hospital Los Angeles reported that Paris made an “extremely generous” contribution towards the construction of the new 460,000-square-foot Children’s Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases. The specific amount wasn’t made public, but there is speculation that her donation was enough to get a wing or hall named for her. Paris was quick to alert the media about her good deeds, but we probably would do the same if our prior media hits were so tawdry. She said:

“The children I have met through my involvement with Children’s Hospital have truly touched my heart. I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illnesses.”

We LOVE when celebrities donate their time, money, and fame to worthwhile causes, so we want to give Paris a big thank you!

Ethan Hawke who? Actress Uma Thurman has found herself a new man, and they’re going to the chapel! Her fiance is Swiss multi-millionaire, Arpad “Arki” Busson. Arki is best known as supermodel Elle Macpherson’s ex, and both him and Uma have 2 kids each with their former partners. Celebitchy described the honker of an engagement ring: “in return for saying yes, the actress received some serious sparkle: an 8-plus carat center stone surrounded by 20 smaller stones.”

Hmm, multi-millionaire, 8 plus carats, and the hottest exes around – these two are on fire! As usual, check back at Emitations.com to find a faux version of Uma’s ring, as soon as pictures are available…

UPDATE: Per Jossip, ” Just a day after the Internet was abuzz with rumors — equally plausible and impossible — that Gossip Girl co-stars and roommates Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick are lovers, weren’t afraid to hide it, and were spotted open-mouth kissing in Crawford’s trailer, Westick’s rep calls the report “absolutely untrue.” “ 

Bromance or Boyfriends? This pic just screams “I love you man!” 

Both Perez Hilton and JJsDirt reported today on a hot new relationship on the set of Gossip Girl. No, not Blake Lively and Penn Badgley – we’re talking about Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick! They’re co-stars on the show, roomies in real life, and now (according to the rumors) they’re lovers. Could it be? Perez has all the dirt on this one, so here’s the direct quote from him:

“We’ve been contacted by entertainment reporters – within days of each other – from the NY Post and the NY Daily News. They both wanted to share a juicy piece of info – too juicy to print, they said.

Seems like on-set sources, which the pubs tell us are reliable, have told each paper that Chace Crawford and Gossip Girl co-star and real-life roommate Ed Westwick are in a relationship and not trying to hide it, at least on set.

BOTH NY papers tell us that Chace and Ed were recently seen kissing, open-mouthed on set (in Chace’s trailer). Very interesting! The Post and Daily News both declined to publish this item because they don’t like to “out” people.”

Both of them are gorgeous, and if they are a couple, we hope they feel comfortable coming out. If they’re just friends, we hope they don’t stress over the rumors. They should be familiar with Gossip by now anyway, right?

UPDATE: Per Jossip, the babies may have already arrived, and Angie might be sporting a fake pregnant tummy. Here’s the direct quote:

“And heeeeeere we go. Yesterday we forecasted that In Touch’s photos of Angelina Jolie looking very pregnant in France while playing with Zahara and Shiloh would be met with the requisite skepticism, especially since Entertainment Tonight reported Ms. Jolie already gave birth, and they’re standing by their story. And it’s happening. “Some remain unconvinced,” reports Rush & Molloy, that Jolie is still carrying the twins inside her. That photo of her with the belly? “Prosthetic tummy!” So where are the babies? If they were born, they were premature, which means they are “being secretly cared for in a French hospital” until they’re strong enough for People or OK! to pay eight-figures to take their photo.”

In Touch Weekly confirmed – via panoramic picture – that Angelina Jolie is indeed still pregnant. They managed to score a far away shot of Angelina with daughters Shiloh and Zahara, but no babies. Even from a distance, Angie’s pregnant belly is distinct! If you recall, Entertainment Tonight broke the story of Angelina’s delivery a few weeks ago, and has yet to retract the announcement. ET says they told us all it was just a rumor – albeit an incredibly detailed one! Newest ETA for the Jolie-Pitt twins is mid July, so check back then…and don’t forget, we’re still trying to start the wave of calling the twins IslAmelie. So far it doesn’t seem to have caught on!

UPDATE: Per JustJared, the twins have been born and are healthy and strong! His direct quote below:

“FYI: Sources tell The Daily News that contrary to denials, Angie has given birth to her twins. “They’re waiting till the babies are bigger and stronger before they allow anyone to take their picture,” a source told the paper.”

According to David Hauslaib’s Jossip, Jamie Lynn is getting speared by Star because baby pics of daughter Maddie Briann were promised to a different magazine. Here’s the cover and direct quote from Star…please note that this story may not have any basis in reality whatsoever:

“The baby’s heart rate dropped every time she tried to push,” a family insider tells Star. “They did an ultrasound and quickly discovered that the umbilical cord was too short.” But despite the doctors’ dire warnings, the 17-year-old “was adamant about having a natural delivery.”

Everyone in the room at Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center in McComb, Miss., pleaded with Jamie Lynn to listen to the doctors — including big sister Britney. Brit had already been with Jamie Lynn for hours, massaging her back as she endured painful contractions. “But she got mad,” says the insider. She told Jamie Lynn to “just have a damn Caesarian,” as she did. “Britney then ran out in tears because she couldn’t bear to see what was happening.”

The girls mother, Lynne, only added to the tension. “Lynne was already angry because her daughter didn’t want her in the delivery room at all,” says the source. “But she had insisted on being there, along with Casey Aldridge, Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend. Jamie Lynn cussed and yelled at her mom, and told her to get out. She cursed Lynne for bringing her into the world to bear such pain.”

Mama Lynn Spears brokered a $1 million deal with US Weekly prior to the birth, but pics were leaked from Jamie Lynn’s Myspace page earlier this week. At this point who knows what to believe? For more details, check newsstands for the latest issue of Star magazine…

Word is that Guy has been spending his time in London recently, while Madonna is hanging out in New York. Not sure where the kids are, or which parent they’re with…divorces are always hard for kids, but when the proceedings are tabloid fodder – it can get ugly. Speaking of getting ugly, Perez Hilton noted that the pair has no prenuptial agreement. We smell a divorce debacle in the works…

UPDATE: A report by E!’s Ted Casablanca that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are considering breaking up is “100% completely fabricated,” Garner’s rep tells Usmagazine.com.

Ted Casablanca, uuber-gossip king of E! Online’s The Awful Truth, reports that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner might be breaking up. NOOOO! Those two (and little Violet, of course) seem so happy and real, and we can’t stand to think that it isn’t working out. This is even more traumatizing then when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got divorced! Casablanca noted that the rumor hadn’t been confirmed, but Affleck’s team was quick to retort:

“We usually don’t comment on stuff like this,” shot Camp Affleck. “But you should know sources are liars. If you guys want to do the right thing, you won’t post that item. It’s all BS.”

Casablanca fired back, though, with his own take on the matter:

“Really? Interesting, as it’s from the same bull-pooping peeps who originally told me Ms. G was moving from Vartan to Affleck, the fickle little femme.”

We have no idea what to think!

Nicole, Joel, and baby Harlow are just adorable!