Yes folks, it finally happened. Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are officially over. Is anyone really surprised? No one is sure at this point who dumped who, and all kinds of conflicting stories are going around. Here’s a recap of all the dirt:

“John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn’t want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children. Initially, Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she’s simply sad – not to mention a little heartbroken.”

-The Mirror

Sources close to Jennifer Aniston told the Chicago Sun Times that she’s the one who did the dumping!

“Jen who decided to move on,’ says the friend. “She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. … Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye.”

Jen was said to have given John a ’three strikes and you’re out’ ruling after hearing that he had hooked up with a cocktai waitress and an assistant for his concert tour. A groupie was the supposed third strike that ended it…

Picture courtesy of JustJared

Since the split, Mayer has been avoiding parazzi, which has raised some eyebrows. He usually enjoys teasing the photogs, but he went so far as to cover his face at the airport recently. Maybe to hide his tears? Meanwhile, Aniston is said to be back on the proverbial horse, and already dating a new mystery man:

“Aniston reportedly shared a public, romantic dinner with a mysterious tall, dark and handsome gentleman at the Sunset Tower Hotel in West Hollywood on Thursday night.

An eyewitness reports, ‘I don’t know who he is but every woman here was staring at him.’

‘He’s gorgeous — better looking than Brad Pitt and John Mayer combined,’ said another snitch.

The Man and her new man spent two hours dining and held hands during their meal. At the end, Mystery Man and Jen kissed each other goodbye, not once but three times before going their separate ways in their own cars.”

-Perez Hilton

Some of our fave gossip mags must be feeling a little silly, considering the dramatic cover stories that debuted right before the split…

Picture courtesy of Perez Hilton

John Mayer might be known as the reigning ladies man of Hollywood – watch your back George Clooney! – but we still love him. How could we not, when he regularly takes jabs at the media and paparazzi in the most ridiculous ways possible? Here’s a recap of our favorite Mayer exploits…

-Appeared on stage in a full bear costume to play guitar alongside Sheryl Crow

-Posed for pictures on the beach in a “Borat” style neon green bathing suit (though it barely covered enough to qualify as a full suit) while reading US Weekly magazine

-Wore a “Mr. Douchebag” shirt, but used a marker to change it so it read “Mr. Badass”

-Sends amusing status reports to iTunes tech support

-Walked around with a paper bag labeled “Experimental human growth hormones, 2 x daily” just to mess with the paparazzi

-Is rumored to be quite skilled in the sack! JustJared posted a quote from an anonymous former lover, who noted:

“John is good in bed. Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I’m not sure what exactly he does in bed, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined. They get totally hung up on him and want more! Whatever John’s secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry.”

Lucky Jennifer Aniston huh?!

His most recent shenanigans took place at his concert in St. Louis. People reports:

“[Fans] send me links from PEOPLE,” he said, marveling at the coverage of his remarks the previous night when he – with Aniston in tow – joked about being the subject of Internet rumors. “That just tempts me to say things.” The audience at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in the St. Louis suburb of Maryland Heights roared its approval, but Mayer would not divulge any intimate details.

Instead, he playfully peppered his nearly two-hour concert with dubious confessions designed to feed those who were curious about his private life: He fears the color green. He weighed 400 pounds when he was 12. He wrote the lyrics to the Kenny Loggins hit “Danger Zone” – at age 9. And he was “33 percent done” with building a time machine.

“When I was a child I would kill small animals and wear their teeth as necklaces,” he deadpanned. “True. Print that. And I’ve always felt deep down that I was born a woman.”

Page Six had an interesting tidbit courtesy of John Mayer’s ex-girlfriend (and Friday Night Lights star) Minka Kelly:

“JOHN Mayer might have broken Minka Kelly’s heart when he left her for Jennifer Aniston – but he had the decency to call her before the news about them hit the press. A Kelly pal said, “Minka [above] received a call from John prior to the story breaking about his relationship with Jennifer. He apologized to Minka, ‘Sorry, but I’m really in love.’ ” She found that interesting as, “during his relationship with her, John mentioned, ‘I don’t really get this Jennifer Aniston thing.’ ” Mayer’s rep declined to comment.”

It would all be nice for Jen, but John seems to fall in and out of love pretty quickly. Who knows, though – it might just work out!

Recently the celebrity world seems like a crazy version of our fave childhood game, MASH!!!

Jen marries John and gets the mansion, she’s an actress and he’s a musician, they have no kids and drive a cartoon looking Ford GT. Angelina marries Brad, she’s an actress/philanthropist and he’s an actor/philanthropist, they have chateaux across the world, and end up with 30 kids and a motorcycle.

Honestly, who’s next??? Someone has to get stuck with a shack in the boonies and a garbage truck for a vehicle, if this game goes anything like we remember. Our money is on Matthew McConaughey, if only because he would probably enjoy that.

JJ’s Dirt reports that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are HOUSE HUNTING. Why? What good could possibly come of them looking to shack up so soon? We’re getting tired of reading about Jen’s broken heart, and it seems like she’s setting herself up for this one. Plus, Johnifer (Animayer?) are also rumored to be getting matching “J” tattoos. Nothing says commitment like permanent ink and a Hollywood mansion, huh? Nevermind that these two have been dating for what, 6 weeks? Two months max? This can’t be a good plan.

Things must be heating up between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer…she brought him over to hang out with Courtney Cox and David Arquette! The two have been canoodling in tropic locales recently, but now it appears that they’re taking another step forward. Will it work out? Given Jen’s luck (or lack thereof) in the past, and John’s reputation, it seems unlikely. But who knows? Maybe he needed a woman who could keep him in line, and Jen seems like she has what it takes to do just that!

John Mayer has cropped his mop top – is he cleaning up for new girlfriend Jennifer Aniston? Given his reputation with the ladies, we hope Jen is staying on her toes!